Five Years Ago

There are a few things I’ve learned since I graduated college. In fact, it’s probably fair to say that I’ve learned more since I graduated than I did in my entire four years. It might even be possible to say that I’ve learned more in the last 10 years than I did in the entirety of my time at school (16 or so years at this point), but that’s a little hard to quantify. I mean, how do you compare “I learned how to wipe my own ass” with “I learned that mortgages are expensive as balls”?

Okay, so I probably knew how to wipe my own ass long before I was in the first grade. My point is that it seems like every 5-10 years or so I look back at my 5- or 10-years-younger self and say something like, “Man, what an idiot I was!” I’d like to try and recreate that here:

5 (looking back on 0):

Good Lord, what a no-walking, no-talking, shitting-all-over-myself baby I was back then!

10 (looking back on 5):

Man, I’ve come a long way. I mean, I could hardly even read!

15 (looking back on 10):

Are you kidding me, with the playing tag and watching cartoons? If only I would’ve found out about girls sooner…

20 (looking back on 15):

If only I would’ve found out about girls sooner…

25 (looking back on 20):

If only I would’ve found out about girls later…

30 (looking back on 25):

If only I would’ve found out about compound interest sooner…

Alright, I probably didn’t do this justice – a one-liner per five years is pretty thin – but this is really meant to be food for thought. What would you tell yourself if you could go back in time 5 years?

 

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One Comment on “Five Years Ago”

  1. I think I resent 25 looking back on 20…I think.


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